Marriage is supposed to be a happy ending. You promise to love and cherish each other for the rest of your lives. However, not everyone gets to keep this promise – around 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the U.S. divorce.
A happy, successful, and loving marriage is not an easy feat. It takes a lot of hard work, determination, patience, forgiveness, love, and acceptance. However, no matter how much you try, some marriages end up going down the drain.
You may tell yourself that it’s just a phase, that you are just both going through some rough spots. But if that phase continued for years, then it may be time to rethink it through. Holding on when things are just so painfully wrong can be worse for both of you. It becomes even more complicated when there are kids involved.
How do you know when it’s time to wave the white flag? How do you know when your happily ever after is over?
- You think about separating.
If you constantly think about packing up and leaving your spouse, then maybe it’s time to do just that. If it’s all you can ever think about, then perhaps it’s your brain telling you precisely what you both need.
- One of you cheated.
Cheating is one of those things that can never be undone. The cheated partner will always feel inadequate, insecure, and jealous. Forgiving may be easy, but forgetting is not.
When one spouse seeks intimacy outside of marriage, it can have lasting effects on both spouses. The precious trust is broken and can never be restored. The psychological damage can last for a lifetime, ultimately destroying a once loving relationship.
- There is no communication.
Poor communication is the top reason why most couples break up. Communication is vital to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. It creates an open bridge of honesty and trust between the couple. Communication is extremely important, especially when there are issues and problems. It is important that both can be vulnerable to each other. This way, you can effectively address all marital issues you have.
- Your spouse irritates you.
If everything your spouse does start to annoy you, or the sight of him irritates you, it is a red sign that you should not ignore. Your spouse should make you happy and help reduce your stress. If your spouse is becoming the primary stressor in your life, then maybe it’s time to take a marriage counseling course.
- Sex life? What sex life?
Sex is not just a way to procreate. It is also a way for married couples to communicate their love for each other through their bodies. Being intimate with your partner has many wonderful mental and emotional benefits. It makes you feel connected.
If your sex life has bored you lately, or you simply do not have sex anymore, it can be a red flag. You may still have sex, but you find yourself thinking about someone else.
Physical intimacy is an essential element in a marriage. Lack of intimacy can make you feel unwanted and self-conscious, leading to a marriage that lacks trust and satisfaction.
- You always argue with each other.
Your spouse should be your best friend and your partner. Spouses who have a strong friendship have higher chances of a successful marriage. Your marriage is in trouble if you and your spouse continuously bicker, and you cannot have a calm conversation. Insulting one another and always disagreeing with each other is never suitable for marriage.
- You have become someone else.
Your marriage should help you become a better version of yourself. If your personality and outlook in life have taken a negative turn, then something might be up. You may once have been an energetic and vibrant person who loved to make friends. An unhealthy marriage can turn you into a sour, depressed, and irritable person. Your toxic relationship is often to blame for your change in personality.
The good news is, you can still save your marriage. Troubled couples take marriage courses to restore a healthy and loving relationship. It is not impossible, but it will take a lot of patience and determination.